Someone I care about is grieving

One of the things I see again and again in my work with people who are grieving is how much their relationships can change after someone dies. In the beginning, people often gather around them, checking in, offering help and wanting to be there, but as time passes that support can slowly fade away. Sometimes something even more painful happens, and the people they were certain would be there simply aren't able to be. It's not because people don't care. They do. They just don't know what to do. They may be afraid of saying the wrong thing, unsure whether to mention the person who died, worried about intruding, or simply not knowing what to do when they can't make things better.

But for the person who is grieving, that uncertainty can feel like people abandoning them just when they still need connection. They can also find themselves having to initiate contact, ask for help and keep relationships going themselves, which can become another responsibility at a time when they are already dealing with so much. My work with friends and family is about helping you feel more confident staying connected and being alongside someone who is grieving, without expecting them to teach you how.

The following short podcast may help give you some tips.

If you would like more in-depth information on how to be with someone in grief, there are two ways of working with me.